i saw you looking
tracing your fingers to the sky,
with the whole scenario,
they have no shimmer.
i want to
refurbish the radiance
but you were seemingly drifting,
into an infinite galaxy,
into a black hole of thoughts.
that you’d look past
you were trying to make
‘cause the One behind those stars
is making the ‘you’
that will outshine
the battle within you.
“meet Him at the intersecting point of you and the stars.”
I dreamt of you last night. You were looking somewhere. Your eyes were glistening. Your eyes couldn’t contain much of the galaxy that desiring to surge out. You were greatly devoured by something splendid, something delightful. Your soul was glistening with hues of rainbows and sparkling dust. Then I tried to take a stride, to be nearby. But, I failed, as my body felt the crystal wall. Out of my ware, I beaten it with all my strength, trust me that I tried, struggling my way towards you, while you were there, standing and spellbound with the exquisiteness of everything. “That is not your paradise my dear.” I heard a voice, a Manly voice. The familiarity of it made me feel the serenity that I was yearning for, the calmness that has long vanished when you gave nothing but insanely beats. “But…” I was about to protest. “Here is where you should be. Trust me.” It was painful, but hearing the words from Him mended the gashes that were about to be molded. My gaze traveled back to the other side of the crystal wall, and you were there. Not minding the other part of where you were, the portion where I was in.
I dreamt of you last night. You were looking somewhere. Your eyes were sparkling. But those glimmers weren’t made for me. “You are not my paradise.”
When the world I made stops gyrating
And my core stops screaming
I will straightly look at you
–that I’m no longer aching
Mapaghangad ba ‘kong iisipin?
Dalanging ang bawat berso ng awit mo’y para sa akin
Masyado bang mapag-angkin?
Kung patuloy na hihiligin;
–ang pagkatok mo’t pagdating
Was by your smile;
Those curves, I seize
In my heart, it fits
You weren’t made to fill my gaps
Seeing you with someone else, I lost my gasps
You weren’t made for my grasps
I don’t have mask
Minamanipula ako ng ‘yong mga tawa
May kung anong kirot, parang pagtama ng bala
Kung pwede lang hulihin ang pagsulyap, sige ako na ang may sala
Ikaw lang kasi;
Ang paborito kong hiwaga
(n) a low rumble of distant thunder
pronunciation: ‘bron-tld (brawn-tide)
—I am the thunder. And these are my brontides.
Out of my ware, every single day, I keep falling for this man—someone whose heart belongs to someone else—someone who I shouldn’t grasp the notion of being with. He’s gentle, so sweet and a man of chivalry. No one can purposely ignore that. In this universe of parading one’s self, he’s a man of humility. I, with my utmost power, tried my very best to ignore the heartbeats but, I, I failed. And I, I fell.
Yours is the face
That light up my days
It showed me the way
It blew me away
Away from my fears
And all of my tears
Far from despair
And what I can’t bear
Closer to Your care
And when it’s time; you must learn to let go of something you’re afraid to lose.
She found the entry point to the labyrinth of trouble when he smiled.
I was told to never look at the eyes, cause those were oblivion waiting for one’s downfall. “You’ve got entrancing hazel brown eyes there.” I uttered.
My pen inked the sheet as my hand started strumming the strings.
Dear, the picturesque sight of your smile’s making me sing.
They said soulmates have resemblance with each other as for the notion that they were angels above fighting the never ending battle. Lost from the war, they were separated into two beings—blindly searching for the other half in their lifetimes. And apparently you’ve lost the battle.
The question is; would you find the other half? Before the world be consumed by sin and hatred?
“How have you been?”
Here, still riding the roller coaster of confusion that I have never paid myself to be into.
“Oh, been doing good.”
Some people keep searching for that certain kind of love in this world, a love that can only be found on the cross.
Happiness isn’t about measuring the sadness of infinite galaxy to prove itself.
How would you say that you feel so empty without making people act as if you’re the saddest piece here on earth?
What it is that you will do, when the entire world need saving but no one notice you need it too?
Who are you when you are not wearing that facade, the mask that the world requires you to wear every single day?
And when home doesn’t feel like home, where would you go?
“Is my life another sad story?”
There were moments in my life where I let liquefied emotions, lukewarm faith, easily burned thoughts, lightheartedness and trifling decisions ruled over. Those moments were too easy to label as everything that made me stand on the ground of this present world I am in. All the broken and irreparable pieces of what I was before could be gathered to solidify my today’s being. I don’t want to be eaten by pretense, so here’s the truth; there were moments, minutes, hours, even a fleeting second, I would feel the need to be lost. I was craving for the satisfaction to end everything that keeps on gripping my heart in such agonizing way. I would crave the need to feel numb, un-weary of the howls and cries that could be heard in the midst of a busy street and looking forward to the sound of silence in the core of oblivion and solitude. I would gratifyingly feel the need to be a lonely land, full of mysteries and quietness, full of withered flowers and brown thin branch of trees, health which the drought took. I would feel the need to be in the darkness, letting it all surmount my space, until I could no longer breathe, until it travel its way to every part of me, to my entirety. Even up to now; some days, I would feel the need to stop fighting, to just give up and to just let go. I would look in front of me and see how everyone’s doing fine and I am here, still behind, doing well at watching others retreat to their happiness while I am still stuck with my frowns and tears. I was once a flower, expected to jubilantly bloom under the brightly shining sun. How could I? When I was long too withered? Because the society’s says were my constant reminders that I am nothing but a failed experiment to this mutation.
Then, every time that certain need would eagerly want to overpower me, a Man would call with softness in His voice. That’s where the light came in; that was the exact moment where I would feel solid, like an indestructible piece of gem that was hardened by Him. Yet, I answered Him with doubts, and still answering Him with doubts. I thought He would leave. Just like what a lot of people did but He stayed, He stays. As for my heart keep searching restlessly, and the resonating sound of nothingness zealously ignite the desire of wanting to stop, He would gladly hold my hands and would whisper through my ears; “Do not be afraid.” Such words started touching my heart. “Be still.” He would add. “I love you.” And with those uttered words, my being would travel to the age of calmness—where there’s nothing but rest.
He is the rest.