“I wanna tell you something.”

I exhaled all the courage I have. Preparing myself for the explosion—explosion of my own heart. “What is it?” You immediately replied with an upward curve on your lips. That smile. Yes, that familiar smile of yours. The kind that wouldn’t make anyone fall but would make them fly heavenwards. 

I know. I know because that was the same smile that made me fly.


I spat out the first word. 

But I can’t feel the normalcy of my breathing anymore. My heart started beating, erratically, and soon enough, it’ll jump out from its ribcage. And then something hit me;

I can’t risk it all. I just can’t.

“Hey kiddo, what?” You said as you ruffled my hair.

“I… I hate you, Idiot.” I started making faces, I started laughing, I started ruffling your hair too. I started smiling —contradicting everything I feel.

I lied.

I died.

With that, I still felt the explosion.

Be still, my heart. Be still.


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