“You’re a princess-in my eyes, in everyone’s eyes in fact-but it’s bizarre how you bewitched me.”
Those were the words. And it’s still echoing in my mind. I can’t hide the redness that starting to show up on my face and soon this thing that I’m feeling right now will turn me into a cute little tomato.
“…you bewitched me.”
I still remember, that’s the reason why we ended up like this-perfect together. It’s been 5 years. And I’m fortunate to have a guy like you in my life. Yes, sometimes we’re on that rocky road but it just showed us how strong we are especially when we have each other.
I still remember, I used to have a crush on you since high school-well, until now you never failed to make me smile, to make me feel these butterflies in my stomach, these wobbling knees and these erratic heartbeats I’ve been feeling every time you’re near me.
I still remember the day you confessed your feelings, the day you asked if I can be your girlfriend. That’s one of the best day of my life. And saying yes to you is the last I’ll regret.
I still remember our first anniversary. It’s funny because that time I got mad at you cause I thought you forgot it, but ‘you’ being a sweet-perfect-boyfriend, you planned everything.
3 years, every anniversary, you made me feel how wonderful it is to love and be loved. You made me feel that fairytale do exist. You made me feel that I am capable of loving someone this much. You made me feel grateful to God-that he gave me you. That I have my own version of a prince that everyone’s dreaming for.
I love you so much.
I still remember our 4th anniversary. Sophie, our closest friend since high school called to me saying something that made my world, my heart plummet.
“Agatha, I saw Ted. He’s with another girl.”
Maybe he’s with Reena, his cousin. Or with some of our friends. Maybe Sophie misunderstood everything and just jumped into the conclusion that my boyfriend’s cheating on me.
“Sorry, I just don’t want to see you in pain when you finds out that he’s cheating on you. They’re just about to kiss when Ted saw me. I don’t know if he really noticed that it was me, but he just dragged the girl away. I’ll send you the pictures.”
I immediately received the pictures.
Two pictures. The first one, the girl’s holding his face but I didn’t know who the girl is because Ted’s blocking her face. The next is, he’s dragging her away to that scene and I don’t know where they’re going.
Damn! It’s true. He’s cheating. After all that we’ve been through. After all this time?
It’s like my whole world turned upside down. All night, I’m crying like hell. And yeah right, he didn’t even greeted me. It’s our freaking-4th-anniversary and I don’t know my boyfriend’s whereabout. All I know is that, he is with another girl and it’s breaking my heart-my whole being.
The next day, he visited me.
It’s like nothing happened, you’re still my Ted, you’re so sweet. If I didn’t know anything maybe I’ll just cuddle with you, maybe I’m still the innocent child-a pawn in your game.
Minutes passed and I couldn’t take this anymore. I just exploded. I told him that I know everything, that he’s a liar, he’s a cheater.
He explained to me that it’s not true, that it’s just nothing, that I’m the only one. But I’m so over being that gullible girl. I cannot fathom everything that he said. I don’t want his explanations anymore. I’m so fed up.
Hours of harsh words, shouting, crying, explaining, lies, promises unkept, misery, sorry. He gave up. He hold the door knob but before he open it. He walk back to where I am standing, he kneeled in front of me and hold my hands while saying those words that hit my heart.
“Remember, all the things I did is for you-for us. Remember that there’s a reason in everything that I did and I will be doing. I love you so much. Mahal na mahal kita. Sobra pa sa sobra.”
Before I knew it. He’s kissing me. Full of love, full of sincerity. And this kiss made me feel that shivering coldness, this kiss is breaking my heart. It’s like he’s saying goodbye through it.
This time, he pulled away and open the door. He left me here just like how my sanity left me. I should’ve let him explain his side. I’m just paranoid, I should’ve believe him. I don’t want to put our relationship on waste just because of me being so stubborn and close-minded. He’s my prince, he’s my first love, he’s my one and only best shot and I know he loves me so much.
I run as fast as I could. I should chase him. A sigh of relief came through out when I saw him.
“Ted!” I shouted as loud as I could.
And his gaze falls to me. The only thing I saw is his perfect face-smiling at me. He mouthed the words…
“I love you.”
My head’s throbbing really hard. Enough about this.
I suddenly look at the clock when I realize that he’ll be here within a minute.
I check if everything’s fine, the table, the candles, flowers, champagne and foods. They’re ready and so am I. I decided that this time I’ll be the one to surprise him. He gave me everything, he made me feel like a princess every time-and I think this is just a little compensation for every wonderful things he had done for me-for this relationship.
I decided to call him to ask if he’s on his way.
But hours passed and he’s still not here. Nervousness trying to eat me. What if something bad happened to him? No. No. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna kill myself. We’re forever right? No one can separate him from me. No one!
Three knocks made me out of my reverie. Finally, my prince is here.
I opened the door but instead of seeing him, a doctor with his four nurses are here in my room’s front door.
“What do you want?” I asked and glared at them. They’re here again. Great! Just great, they’ll just ruin my date with Ted.
“It’s bed time. We know you’re not going to sleep again. Drink this.”
And he gave me my meds, which I don’t really like because of its bad taste and effect.
“No! I’m not going to sleep. Can’t you see? It’s our anniversary. Tedros will be here, my prince. I’m not going to sleep. No I’m not.”
I shooed them away but because he has his four nurses, they pinned me down to bed and tried to put that dreading-capsule in my mouth. And they won, as always.
Before I drifted off to sleep. I heard my Mom talking to the Doctor.
“Will she be okay Doc?” My moms crying. I want to wipe off those tears. Only if I could. If I have the courage, but I can’t wipe my own and I don’t have the strength, I just want to give up everything. I’m tired.
The Doctor sighed. “We should pray for it. We’re doing the best we could, I know how hard it is when you lose the one person you love the most. Her boyfriend’s death is unbearable for her. The pain and depression is eating her, and the least we can do is to make her happy, we let her set this room for a candle light dinner. Everyday she’s doing this. And look at those crumpled paper on the plate, she’s always eating those and waiting for her boyfriend to come back. It’ll take a long time for her to realize that there’s something good in goodbyes. And we assure you, we’ll be doing the best we could. Our mental facilities are enough and our team will make sure that she’s gonna be okay.”
“…when you lose the one person you love the most.”
“…waiting for her boyfriend to come back.”
Those words echoed in my mind.
NO! He’s not dead. Who says that? He’ll come back right? He loves me, he’ll never leave me. No! Not!
And I’m not insane! I’m not crazy, I’m not! I’m not!
And then everything went black. The sleeping pills doing its freaking work.
The next thing I saw, Ted is lying on the road, bathing with his own blood. I immediately hold his hand.
“No! No! Ted, I forgive you now. Just please, don’t leave me. Don’t sleep baby. Don’t do this to me.” Tears streaming down my face. Im falling into pieces, I saw my world shattered in front of me. No! This can’t be!
He hold my hand, “I love- yo–u. I’ll miss–you. May-be m–yy he–art wi-ll sto–p beat–ing bu-t you’re nam-e will a–lwa–ys be writt–en on it.
…I love–you so much. The Prin–cess w–ho be–witc–hed my hear–t.”
And with that he lost his grip on my hand. And that exact moment my sanity left me. My soul left me. My everything’s gone. I no longer need this life.
Weeks passed and the only thing I want to do is to kill myself and be next to you. It’s all my fault. Sophie told me the truth, that Bea planned all of this. Bea is so obsess with Ted since High school, he threatened Sophie to show me the pictures, and Ted is with her that night because if he didn’t go out with her she’ll hurt me. Bea’s dad is an influential man, and he can do whatever her daughter wished for.
How did we ended up like this?
It’s all my fault. I should’ve let him explain. Maybe he’s still alive, maybe I didn’t let him go that way. Maybe my prince is still with me and making our way to our happily ever after.
I woke up when I felt the sun rays hitting my face.
It’s another day-my last day here, actually.
I look at the clock and I should be ready.
I traveled to the age of paranoia when I realized that I’ll see him in a minute.
It’s our 5th anniversary and I’ll surprise him.
This time no more candle light dinner, no more waiting, no more reminiscing, no more sleeping-pills-interruption.
I opened the cabinet beside my bed and saw the bottle I took from the washroom the last time I am outside.
“At last. The long wait is over. I’ll see you. This time, our love story will be perfect. No more crying, hurting, shouting, lies, agony, pain. This time, it’ll just be you and me. This time we will have our forever.”
And with that, I drink the acid I am holding. I closed my eyes. And I know, in a minute I will see you..
My Happily Ever After,
Once upon a time doesn’t always end up with a cliche happily ever after.